Im sorry,im wrong.I went to church to return the tickets to aunt pat.While waiting for mass to end,i was suddenly guilt-striken.It was so bad that my tears just flow down my cheeks.Just behind the door of the church,i saw all sorts of people,children,adults,old people and even handicapped praying and singing the word of God.While a healthy young girl like me skipped every mass and choir practices just because she was lazy and dreadful.I simply just pushed all the blames to God for everything.I blamed him for not helping me during my darkest period of my life,i hated him for not answering my prayers.I blamed him so much that i stopped all my daily night prayers.I dont even want to look at the altar at my home.And just when my life took a peak,i totally just put God aside and i even didnt bother to thank him.Why didnt i thought of all the happiest moments in my life?why didnt i thought of who gave me such moments?Im just a selfish,ignorance girl!After mass,i met aunt pat and desiree.At first i was afraid that aunt pat will reprimand me for missing the choir practices but instead she smiled and ask me how am i.I was surprised.She even said she understand that i needed to work and she missed my presence.Then,i cried again and told her how angry i was towards God.She then enlightened me with her own experiences and that somehow woke me up.
Now,i just want to get back to church and retrive my lost faith back.Also, i want to go to confession and pray for his forgiveness.God,im deeply sorry...
posted @ 10:11 PM